趣味英语：生活幽默

概要： 这时一个低沉的男声从房子的另一侧传来，“不是，太太，我只是来给您清洗窗户。”To Patch the Hole A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible," she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," said her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit." "Yes," said the woman, cheering up. "And it's lucky you have. I used them patch the hole."补洞

To Patch the Hole
   A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible," she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
   "Forget it," said her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."   "Yes," said the woman, cheering up. "And it's lucky you have. I used them patch the hole."
补洞
   丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。"我心里太难受了，"她说。"我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。"
   "没事儿，"丈夫安慰地说。"你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。"
   "是的," 妻子高兴地说, "幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。" www.99youjiao.com

Wonder They Put Her Out
Jenny, (looking at the crying new baby): Has she just come from heaven?
Mother: Yes.
Jenny: Well, it's no wonder they put her out.
肯定是他们把她赶出来的
（看着不断哭着的刚出生的婴儿）詹妮问：她是刚从天堂里来吗？
妈妈：是的。
詹妮：嗯，那不用问肯定是他们把她赶出来的。

Good Intentions
One day a boy came to his teacher and said:" Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig."
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy:"I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."
"Yes," said the boy, "he did intend to, but the pig sot well."　
良好的心愿
一天有个男孩去对他老师说：“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”
“当然罗，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。”
好几天过去了，再没提起烤猪肉的事儿。
最后老师对男孩说：“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”
“是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪又没病了。”

   After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
我根本就看不见
 晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。” www.99youjiao.com

So Would I
   A fat lady walked into the dress shop. "I'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk.
   "So would I," said the tactless clerk.

我也是
   一个胖女人走进服装店。“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，”她告诉店员说。
   “我也是。”不太老练的店员说道。

To Learn French
Son: Dad, is French difficult to learn?
Father: My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that it becomes easy.
Son: That's great! I'll learn the latter half.

学法语
儿子：爸爸，法语难学吗？
父亲：我的孩子，开头是难，可往后就变得容易了。
儿子：太好了！那我就学后半部分。

What's Going to Be?
Neighbour: What's your daughter going to be when she graduates?
Mother: An old lady!

做什么？
邻居：你女儿大学毕业后要做什么？
母亲：老太婆。

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